Letting You Go
by Amaneyei25
Summary: Standing on the thin ice called (broken) relationship is hard but it's harder to let it go.
1. Chapter 1

A new story here! I want to write this so desperately! I hope you guys like this one, too.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing

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**Chapter 1**

**Canna**

**Flower meaning : paranoia, suspicion**

There was a sound of door opening and closing between the sizzling sound from the kitchen. "Oh, you are awake already?" Fuji smiled at the man at the right side of the kitchen across of the hall while stirring the miso soup.

"Ah.."

"Breakfast is almost ready. You can wash up first." Fuji said while putting away the omelet into a plate. The brown haired man nodded then walked along the hall and disappeared in the bathroom at the end of the hall.

Fifteen minutes later, the breakfast was ready. "Your breakfast, Tezuka-kun." He placed the warm breakfast in front of the said man.

"Thank you." Tezuka murmured.

Fuji replied with a warm smile then he sat across of Tezuka. "I made Kazuya-san's share, too. But, I don't know whether he will come home today either or not." Fuji said lightly while saying his prayers before he started eating. His tone might be light but deep down he felt empty.

Tezuka didn't respond to that, either he didn't care or being perceptive and sympathize about Fuji's sadness.

"How could you be Kazuya-san's nephew? Your ages are not that much different." Fuji asked while munching his warm omelette.

Tezuka put back his miso soup, "It's by six years." He went silent for a moment before continuing, "My grandfather married twice. He married his first wife in his early teenage years but his first wife, my grandmother, died when my mom was a little girl."

Fuji felt bad for asking right then, "I'm sorry to hear that."

"He determined not to take another wife at that time. Yet he married another woman when my mom was in her third year in college."

"And that marriage resulted your step uncle, Tokugawa Kazuya?" Fuji was surprised by how much Tezuka willing to share to him. "Oh, how does it feel to have such young uncle?"

"Like any other uncle. We are not close since we rarely meet."

Fuji was dumbfounded by the fact, "Is that so?" He hummed, "Then why did he.." he blurted but stopped in the middle. Tezuka waited for Fuji's question but Fuji brushed it away saying that he forgot what he was going to ask.

They why did he know Tezuka needed a lodging for a while if they didn't even close?

Two weeks prior, Kazuya brought Tezuka, his step nephew, to their apartment with him. Fuji was surprised to find that Tokugawa had a nephew, the older man never told him anything about his family and Tokugawa always gave the loner vibes therefore Fuji had never thought about it before. Yet he brought one of his family with him. At first he almost thought Tezuka would be a difficult person to face. However, Tezuka was a polite and calm man eventhough he was younger.

"Perhaps my mom asks him to take me in, therefore he can't refuse." Tezuka said after Fuji fell silent.

"Saa..that's okay then if I can do good." Tezuka wasn't only a good guy but he also so perceptive. In the apartment of two bedrooms, with one occupied by Tezuka himself, should rise a question about Fuji and Tokugawa's rooming but Tezuka didn't even raise his eyebrows when he learned about it. Fuji guessed that Tezuka had already known about his uncle's life or he didn't even care.

That put Fuji in dilemma with how to act in front of the man but also respected Tezuka although the latter man was two years younger that Fuji himself, but Tezuka was more mature.

Fuji's ear peaked up when he heard someone unlocking the front door. He stood immediately to welcome his long awaited lover. "Welcome home." He welcomed the tall man with as small sigh yet still smiling brightly as he marched toward Tokugawa. Like a puppy who finally met his master after a long time.

"Ah, I'm home." He loosening his tie and nodded at Tezuka when the latter man greeted him before disappearing into the shared bedroom with Fuji in tow.

Tokugawa was busy unloading his clothes which needed to be laudried from his brand new stylish black knapsack and opened his drawer to take newly washed and ironed clothes when Fuji entered their bedroom. "Kunimitsu is not giving you any problem, is he?" He asked without even glanced at Fuji.

Fuji shook his head, "No, he is friendly and nice to me. Well, he is a bit quiet but we sometimes have nice chat."

Tokugawa nodded, "That's good." then changed his clothes in swift and efficient movements. Fuji watched he worked around the room from the bed.

"Where were you all these time? You have gone too long." Fuji smiled when he asked but his hand was gripping the smooth sheet under him tightly. He was sure he needed to remake the bed after this but that could wait.

"Been busy. There are tons of things to be done at work." Tokugawa had donned another expensive suit while searching for matching tie this time. Long time ago, he would have asked Fuji to find the most suitable one but now he didn't even place his eyes on Fuji properly.

"How are you doing?" Fuji's eyes followed Tokugawa's movements, drinking his appearance; his broad shoulders to his slim waist, like it was the last time he would meet him.

Tokugawa finally found what he needed and walked to the full length mirror next to their wardrobe. "Good."

"Have you had your meal regularly?"

Tokugawa's hand stopped tying the knot for his tie, "You know I tend to forget when it gets busy. But, I sometimes have my meal with my team." Then he continued working on his tie.

Hearing that answer dampened Fuji's mood. With a little resolve he had, Fuji walked to Tokugawa and hugged the tall man from behind. "I missed you." He whispered but Tokugawa went rigid instead.

Fuji tightened his arms around the board chest and inhaled Tokugawa's smell which he had missed so much. It was still the same, the nostalgic smell he longed for; green chypres, strong and classical appeal but at the end he could smell another smell, much fruity that definitely wasn't his Kazuya's smell. The same smell which haunted Fuji for months as if marked their territory and clearly wasn't Fuji's. The smell that turned Fuji into an inferior human being, telling him he wasn't enough.

But Fuji didn't want to give up, his Kazuya was still there with Fuji. Tokugawa turned around, "Syusuke.."

Fuji didn't want to listen, so he pulled Tokugawa toward him and intended to kiss the taller man desperately. But what he got was merely a brush since Tokugawa pushed him away, "No. There's someone else here. We can't be reckless."

Fuji stepped back and blinked, "Isn't that what you want?" His tone turned cold, while his throat felt constricted. Then Fuji decided to collect the clothes which were scattered around the room to distract himself.

Seeing Fuji's mood turned sour, Tokugawa pulled the smaller man into his arms and kissed him deeply. The worn clothes were dropped from Fuji's hands by the action. But Fuji didn't care, not when his Kazuya kissed him immensely, the same kiss they had shared for years and never ceased to turn Fuji into a mushy useless man.

In the end Tokugawa pulled away from Fuji, both were breathless. "Kazuya-san.." Fuji with red lips and blushes on cheeks sighed dreamily.

"Sorry, Syusuke.. I.." Tokugawa looked torned when he saw Fuji's gaze.

Fuji placed a finger on Tokugawa's damp lips, "Sshh.. It's okay. I like it like this." Then he hugged the taller man again. "What do you want to eat tonight? You are coming home tonight, aren't you?" He gazed up and asked happily, with so much hope.

Tokugawa looked unsure for the second time, "If I could."

"That's great! I'll buy some groceries when I come home later and cook delicious dinner for us tonight." He released Tokugawa, "Now, off you go. Leave your clothes for me. I have made your breakfast, eat before you go to work, ne?"

Tokugawa followed Fuji's instructions.

Fuji collected the dirty clothes and put them away to the hamper. He was still smiling brightly when he sat on the chair next to Tokugawa while the older man was having his breakfast.

Tezuka had finished his breakfast and was enjoying his morning tea and if he found Fuji's mood changed drastically, he didn't say anything.

The three of them went to work together. They separated when they reached the station; Fuji worked at the bookstore at the station, Tokugawa and Tezuka had to take the train to reach their office and university respectively.

Fuji greeted his friends before getting ready and started to work. He was humming while putting new books into the bookshelves. "Oh my, someone is happy today. What is it? Got a nice morning?" Fuji's coworker teased him for being cheerful and bright so early in the morning. "How unusual, isn't it?" Another coworker added, too.

Fuji's only reply was his grin. He was busy planning what to make later, it had been a long time eating with Kazuya. "Saa..what should I make tonight?"

###

Tezuka stepped into the dark apartment later than he planned. At first he just wanted to finish his team project and submitted it immediately before his professor gave them another one. And also, after a long thinking he wanted to give alone time to his uncle and his lover.

In two weeks his staying with his uncle, they only met twice. One when his uncle brought him to his house and second time just at the morning. Other than that, his uncle never present himself in the house.

Tezuka flicked the buttons on the wall to switch on the lamps only to find Fuji sitting on the long sofa, watching TV. His uncle was nowhere to be found. "Oh, you've back home? Welcome home." Fuji said softly, his tone was hushed unlike his cheerful and happy tone on the morning. Tezuka hung his jacket on the hanger then put his bag on the table.

"I've made some foods. You can reheat it." Fuji informed.

"Ah.." he then went to the sink to wash his hand, then glanced at the counter.

"Kazuya-san said he couldn't come home today since there's a problem with the delivery station." Fuji informed again when he saw Tezuka's gaze on the orderly wrapped yet untouched foods on the counter.

Fuji's voice was hoarse, like he had just overused it. Was he crying? Or was he screaming at he horror movie on the TV? Tezuka doubted the last option since the TV was on an amateur natural documentary. He watched Fuji silently from the kitchen.

"Then, I'll take a bath first." He finally said then disappeared into the bathroom.

Tezuka leaned over the closed door. Somehow, Fuji looked so small and fragile there, like he was hanging on a thin brittle thread and did his best not to let it go. Tezuka got an impression that Fuji would crumbled and broken even by a little push. Truthfully, he didn't want to witness such view.

Tezuka exhaled then stepped into the shower in an entangled mind.

###

Fuji jerked awake when he felt someone shook him. He looked at the man in confusion, it took him seconds to recognize the man was Tezuka, not Tokugawa. "Sorry, did I fall asleep? Do you need something?" He straightened up and wiped away the sleepiness from his face.

"I have reheated the foods."

"You shall have your dinner, then." Fuji said while forcing a little smile.

"Let's have dinner together. You haven't had your dinner too, have you?"

Fuji declined the offer since he had no appetite at that moment. Tezuka decided to ignore it then pulled Fuji out of the sofa firmly yet gently to the dinning table, "You made it so you have to eat it, too." He said while pushing Fuji to sit then proceed to sat across of Fuji.

Fuji chuckled by how childish Tezuka sounded. He finally took the chopsticks when he saw Tezuka didn't move if he didn't.

They ate in silence, there was only narration from the TV and utensils clinking when were used by them. Fuji's sniffe joined not long after that, "Sorry, I don't know why but my food is too salty."

Tezuka swallowed his food and placed another slice of chicken on Fuji's bowl, "Ah, it's fine. Foods tend to turn saltier when reheated." He commented.

Fuji chuckled between his sniff, then another tears rolled down his cheeks. "It's too bad." He put in another mouthful of rice and chicken. The foods tasted bland and felt like a dry sandpaper in his mouth but he kept eating.

After the meal -Tezuka insisted that he would do the dishes since Fuji had prepared the meal- Fuji went back to the sofa since he wasn't in mood to sleep in the empty and cold bed, alone. He pushed the button on the remote to find any interesting program to watch lazily.

What surprised him was when Tezuka suddenly sat next to him after his chores. Tezuka usually went to sleep or doing his homework after his dinner and left Fuji alone. "Any nice thing to watch?" He asked while handing over a can of cold beer to Fuji.

"Nothing interesting." Fuji took the can and drank it anyway.

Tezuka took over the remote and changed the channel to sport channel. "Is this okay with you?" He asked. Fuji shrugged off and didn't object. They watched some tennis matches in the end.

Tezuka neither said or asked about anything. He just sat there and watched the match with him. For Fuji, it was the sweetest thing someone had done for him for years.

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There for chapter one. I apologize first if there were typos or grammatical errors.

Wish me can finish this story well! See ya!


	2. Chapter 2

New chapter! Thank you for your kind reviews. I love them!

**Disclaimer**: i own nothing.

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**Chapter 2**

**Geranium, Sacrlet**

(Flower meaning: melancholy, consolation, comfort)

There was a small knock on the door then Fuji entered the room after a soft permission was given, "May I come in?"

Tezuka inched back from his study table and looked at Fuji, "Ah.."

Fuji stepped into the room and handed over a clean ironed mint shirt to Tezuka, "I think this is yours. It got mixed into my laundry yesterday. I hope I don't overstep my place..so.."

Tezuka stood and took the shirt from Fuji, "Ah, thank you. It should be me to apologize being a bothersome."

Fuji waved his hand frantically, "No, not a bothersome. I'm glad I can help." Then he placed his hands on back pockets of his trousers while Tezuka put it away to his wardrobe. He knew he should say something, like thanking the younger man for being next to him that day.

It had been a week after his emotional disaster day. Tezuka didn't say anything after that and continued his life as he usually did. Fuji couldn't thank him enough, and since Tezuka dropped off the topic Fuji thought he shouldn't discuss it further. But still...

"Huh? I smell something nice in here." Fuji commented, it was the same scent which he always associated with Tezuka.

Tezuka opened the drawer of his table, "Years ago I got injured when I played tennis and it stressed me out. My doctor suggests to put some aromatherapy to keep me relaxed." He showed a small glass bottle to Fuji.

"Hee.. is that so?" He turned the small bottle around. It was made of apple, green tea and several other musky ingredients. The mixture produced a nice and comforting smell. "This is nice. I should try this in the future." He gave it back to Tezuka.

"What are you doing?" He walked closer and peeked at the scattered papers on the table.

"Writing my budgeting report for my compulsory subject."

"It must be hard, ne?"

Tezuka tapped his pencil on his thick book, "It shouldn't be but my team have quite diverse personalities, so we need a longer time to finish it."

Fuji grimaced at Tezuka's roundabout way to say his team was suck. Fuji never entered and studied in college therefore he didn't really perceive it but, he believed if Tezuka had done it alone, then it would have finished since long ago. "Oh, I must be disturbing your study time." He truly just realized how Tezuka needed his quiet time to finish his report.

"I'll be on my way, then. Just let me know if you need some midnight snack, okay?" He stepped back quickly.

Tezuka opened his mouth to say something but stopped himself. "Hn.."

Fuji stepped out of the room quickly then closed the door and leaned on the heavy door with a sigh, now he would always think about Tezuka whenever he smelled the same scent. That made his heart did a little jump and it wasn't a good thing.

####

Fuji was arranging newly arrived book to their shelf one Saturday, the bookstore was busy that's why he needed to restock the book as quickly as possible. Facing the customer's wrath and grumbles weren't the best experience after all.

His next unopened box was filled with the second edition of economic and agricultural books. He remembered someone who owned the first edition at home. Fuji took the book and read the article on the back of the book then smiled before he placed it on the respective place.

"What was so funny?" One of his coworkers, Mita, a woman in her mid forties, asked in curiosity when she walked pass Fuji pushing another cart of books.

Fuji placed the books in a tidy row, "Oh, it's nothing. I have a friend who reads this kind of book. I bet they would be delighted when I tell them that it has a second edition now."

Mita raised her brows in amazement, "Well, that's really something, eh? They read such difficult books and still alive?" She laughed.

Fuji laughed at her dry joke, "Right? They are a rare example but in great way." Not only that, Tezuka was also an understanding and caring man. He knew when to stay and when to leave you alone but, he made sure that you knew he would always be there for you.

"Hello? Fuji-kun?" Mita snapped her fingers, "Save that loving gaze for later."

Fuji frowned, "I'm not giving a loving gaze."

"Yeah, I got it. It's not, because you totally don't look like someone who has just falling in love since you already have your lover, I see." She teased, then went away.

Fuji stood there dumbfounded, "I'm not.." he whispered to no one.

At the time Fuji clocked out he felt his joints were sore and a bit sluggish but he brushed it off as the side effects of stacking books all day long. "Good work." One of his coworkers greeted before disappearing behind the back door.

Perhaps he should go home and take a rest, he thought as he put on his dark blue scarf. He greeted goodbyes to his friends before going home.

There hadn't any news about Tokugawa, no phone call, no messages, nothing at all. He didn't tell whether he would come home or not, and Fuji bet it was more to the second option. How long was it again? One week? Two? Fuji had stopped counting. He was tired and sick of it even.

Still, there was Tezuka. He had a responsibility to the younger man. "Huh? It's still early." He commented one block away from the bookstore, "I can get the groceries from the market near Kazuya-san's office. And perhaps we can go home together since we rarely meet lately." He smiled and paced quickly to the station with a new enthusiasm, ignoring the itchy and burning sensation on his throat.

The groceries shopping took shorter time than he anticipated. He decided to make a hotpot since it had gotten chiller in the mid autumn, and hotpot was a good idea to keep you warm. He also brought some fluffy cake with pretty decorations as dessert. He might be able to convince Tokugawa to enjoy it with him on the bed together.

His heart beat faster with anticipation when he walked nearer to Tokugawa's office. It was a little past six, and he was sure almost all the people had gone home. True to be told, he saw a crowd in front of the entrance area. Fortunately, Tokugawa was among the men there.

Fuji stood at the sidewalk, behind a row of tall bushes, waiting to give a surprise for his lover. He waited patiently and even giggled when he imagined Tokugawa's dazed and confused face when he saw Fuji. The crowd had dispersed not long after that, so Fuji was getting ready to take an action.

Yet, it was him who was shocked by the view in front of him. All of the enthusiasm and giddiness were replaced by heartbreak and disappointment. "How could him.." he whispered in a stammer. Having enough of it, he stepped back and turned around quickly to leave.

Fuji didn't realize that there was another pedestrian behind him and they collided inevitably. "Be careful, will ya?!" The stranger clucked his tongue and left hastily, leaving Fuji on the ground with scattered groceries.

All in his mind was it was impossible, impossible. His lover..his own love..

His mind was too clouded to gather himself -he crawled and took the onions one by one with shaking hand- that some people even took pity on him and helped him to collect his groceries.

"I'm afraid your cake is beyond saving, young man." An old lady with short white curly hair said in a sad tone when she handed back the cake box. Fuji took it with shaking hand and thanked her then walked away quickly. He hated to see the gaze filled with pity and sympathy. He didn't need that.

He just wanted to go home, away from the reality. Hoping that it was just a bad dream.

Fuji kept walking in confused and depressed mind. All he did was replaying the hurtful scene again and again in his mind. He was sad when he reached home, he was devastated when he put his bag and groceries on the table, he was broken when he saw the damaged cake. "It looks like me. Ugly. Useless." He threw it away without hesitating.

####

Fuji blinked in confusion as he saw the dark sky from the balcony. Since when the sky had gotten so dark?

Tezuka suddenly appeared next to him, his frown was deeper than usual. "Fuji?"

Fuji blinked in confusion when he saw Tezuka but when his brain finally worked he smiled brightly, "Oh! Tezuka-kyuun.. You are feeneely home! Hic!" He glomped to Tezuka with a giggle, and commented on the dark and deep frown on Tezuka's face.

Tezuka staggered with the new load on him, he detached from the smaller man,

"Fuji? Are you drunk?"

Fuji blinked in confusion, "Me? Drunk? Am nooot. I'm not.._hic._.drunk.." he hummed and leaned on Tezuka more and closed his eyes with a sigh. "You are very warm.."

Tezuka could smell the strong scent of alcohol from the older man and if that wasn't enough then the stack of beer cans at Fuji's feet were the clear evidence.

"How long have you been here?" He asked and touched Fuji's face and hands, "Look how cold your face is. Let's go inside." He circled his left arm around Fuji's small shoulder and dragged the smaller man into the apartment but Fuji wriggled out of Tezuka's grip, "No! I don't wanna!"

"Fuji.." Tezuka called again. He wasn't sure what to do since it was the first time for him to see the drunk Fuji.

"Don wanna.. It's stifling inside." Fuji replied and sat down on the floor before leaning on the cold surface of the balcony railing. "I like it heree.." and closed his eyes with a sigh.

Having no other choice, Tezuka squatted in front of Fuji and said in softer tone, "It's really cold here. You may catch a cold the longer you stay here. Let's lay down on the couch, huh?" He brushed Fuji's hair slowly.

When he saw no more protests from the smaller man, Tezuka brought Fuji back to the house in a bridal style.

Tezuka put Fuji on the couch as he promised, he even brought blanket for the smaller man when he saw Fuji shivers. "Tezuka-kun.." Fuji whispered when Tezuka tucked the thick blanket around the light brown haired man.

"Hn?"

"Tezuka-kun is a nice guy, ne? Whoever your partner is, they are truly fortunate one to have you by their side.." he murmured with closed eyes. "They must be very happy having you.." Tezuka brushed Fuji's bangs aside. Fuji looked so vulnerable and small under the thick blanket.

"why.." Fuji whispered softly.

"Why you guys are so different? Why.. Why, Kazuya-san?" Tears rolled down from the closed eyes.

Tezuka pulled his hands away. Right, this wasn't his place to be. Fuji wasn't someone he could touch as he wished. Fuji was his uncle's. Tezuka balled his fist to stop himself. Having no other option to do he decided to clear up the mess at the balcony and to let Fuji rest.

"I almost forgot!" Fuji straightened up right away even before Tezuka could reach the balcony. "I have to put a sticker on the calendar." Fuji stumbled through the dim livingroom to the kitchen area. He opened a drawer and rummaged wildly around the drawer. Fuji even threw away the things; paper clips, notes, pencil in the drawer if it wasn't the object he needed. In the end, the kitchen area too, was a mess.

"Tezuka-kun!" He threw away another book nonchalantly, "Tezuka-kun..hic.. have you seen my emoticon stickers?" When he heard no response he cried out, "Tezukaaa.."

Tezuka who got over his confusion approached the smaller man, "what stickers?" He asked next to Fuji.

"My emoticon stickers. I can't find it even though I have searched everywhere! It should be here. Where are they?" He pointed to the empty drawer. "Did you take it?" Fuji asked with narrowed eyes and serious tone. But the blush on the cheeks made him looked adorable instead.

Tezuka opened his mouth to answer but Fuji cut him, "Hmm.. you don't take it. I know. Perhaps, they too left since they are mad at me, too." He chuckled bitterly.

Fuji sang his question, "_Nee_..where is my stickers?" He slurred at the end, his body was wobbly then he leaned on the nearest sturdy wall to keep him up straight, the wall which actually was Tezuka himself.

Tezuka with every ounce of his patience pulled up Fuji's right hand, showing him that he was holding the most wanted stickers in his hand all along. "Oh! They are here! Silly me." He giggled and stepped away from Tezuka.

After three times futile attempt to open the seal of the plastic package, Fuji finally had enough and torn it forcefully. The sheets of stickers fell down on the floor in a slow motion. "Let's see.." Fuji squatted down, "Which one should I use today, him?" He moved his fore finger from one sheet to another one on the floor, "Smile..laugh..Smile. Smile. Laugh. Love. Smile. Smile." Tezuka could only watch from the sideline.

"I don't have it.." Fuji said suddenly and sniffed. "I don't have it." And now he was sobbing.

Tezu crouched down next to Fuji when he saw troubled Fuji. "What is it?"

"I have no crying one.._hic._. I need that one." He placed his face on his knees, and continued to sob.

"Why do you need it?" Tezuka couldn't relate at all at Fuji's logic.

"Coz today is a sad day..thes why I need to put the sad emoticon on the calendar.." he pointed to the monthly calendar next to the refrigerator with nice autumn scenery printed on it.

Tezuka glanced at the calendar and even in the dimmed room with the only source of light was come from the bright balcony outside, he could still make out the spots on certain days on the calendar which was the sticker was placed presumably.

"I have only the smiles and laughing one, there is love, too. But I don't have the crying one since I have used them all. What should I do?" Fuji sank further to the floor till he was laying on his side on the floor. "What should I do? I have run out of it."

Tezuka stared at the dark ceiling and count until ten before he asked again, "Why do you need that one?"

Fuji took one of the sticky labels and tracing it with his flimsy finger, "Coz today is a sad day. It's only suitable for this day, a day where you cry you can't possibly put the laughing one, ne?"

"If it is then don't do that. Forget about it. Remembering your sadness won't bring you anywhere." Or so he thought since he wasn't the one who meddle with his sadness that much.

Fuji raised and stared directly at Tezuka, his closed eyes were finally opened. "You don't understand." He whispered.

Tezuka often wondered what was behind those closed eyes and he wasn't disappointed when he saw it in such closeness. The illumination from the balcony's light showed that Fuji's eyes were blue, even in the dim light he could see how beautiful the color was.

The tears started to slide out of the beautiful eyes, forming a glassy glaze on them, "You don't understand, the sad memories can't be forgotten and I shouldn't be." He squeezed the frail paper in his arms so hard till his knuckles turned white and the paper crumbled and became shapeless in his hand. Fuji seemed to be sobered up at this time yet his face showed that Fuji truly looked dejected and defeated.

Tezuka couldn't have that, he didn't want to see the defeated Fuji, he hated it. That's why his body moved to put his arms around Fuji and kept him there, safe in his arms even before his brain could proceed it. "Forget it. Forget about the bad memories then make the new happier and pleasant memories."

Fuji placed his chin on Tezuka's shoulder and sniffed, "I don't think I can. I will never forget."

Tezuka cradled the back of Fuji's head gently, "You can. You definitely can." He whispered while tightening his arms around Fuji's back desperately. When Fuji argued back, Tezuka caressed the small head carefully, slowly, "You can. I promise it to you."

Tezuka repeated his words to Fuji times, he didn't let Fuji go, and even leaned his head toward Fuji to show him. He wanted to make sure Fuji knew he was there for him.

For some reasons it was Tezuka's baritone voice, it was Tezuka's warmth that calming him down and protecting him."Do you think so?" Fuji asked in croaked voice in Tezuka's arms.

"Aa."

Fuji sniffed, "I never used the sad one in the past, though. It was always smiling, I used to smile a lot in the past." Fuji sighed and leaned on Tezuka more, his eyes were closed this time, "Why does everything change? Why should it change?... Kazuya-san.." and with that Fuji fell asleep.

Tezuka then brought Fuji to his and his uncle's room which he had never entered before. There was only a big bed on the left side complete with dark nightstand, a big wardrobe on the right side, and a comfortable chair on a fluffy carpet in the middle of the room. The stuff's were stacked neatly and orderly. It was clearly Fuji's doing since the older man did everything in the house diligently and passionately with a smile. He never saw Fuji complained about it, though his uncle never took an interest.

Tezuka stepped out of the room to collect the empty cans on the balcony, then cleaning the mess in the kitchen area. He put the scattered stuffs back to the drawer as neatly as he could so Fuji wouldn't miss anything there.

When everything was done, his attention was brought to the calendar on the wall. He flipped it one by one. In early year there were smileys and loves stickers sprinkled on it, but they dropped drastically when the spring started. If at the start was filled with smileys then when May came, they changed into confused, forced laughter, disappointed and even sad emoticons. Tezuka found that the sticker gone worse in each month ends.

_Kazuya-san.._

Suddenly, Fuji's sad face when he called for his uncle crossed Tezuka's mind. Was it related? Tezuka bet all his thropies for it.

Tezuka touched the 27th day of July. The date was marked with love symbols but the stickers attached was crying one. Did Fuji cry that day, too?

Imaging Fuji crying alone squeezed his heart. Thinking how much it had hurt Fuji made him wanted to wipe the tears away, and turn the sad expression into a happy one with his own hands.

Tezuka pulled his hand away from the calendar immediately when he realized what had he just thought of. It wasn't his place. What Fuji needed wasn't his hand but his uncle's who were unknown his whereabouts.

* * *

There... done for chapter two!

Notes: 27th July is certain someone's birthday.

Hope you enjoy it! *grin*


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